Kisses
by Molly Bod
Summary: Katya feels insecure. EstUkr


Warnings: nudity, sexual references

Notes: I wanted to do something sweet and romantic for these two, and took inspiration from otpprompts. This was so long though and I'm exhausted…

Katya – Ukraine

…

Katya's lip wobbled as she stared in the mirror, and she feared she would burst into a fresh round of tears at the sight that glared back at her.

She'd been crying on and off all afternoon now, sat on her bed poking and prodding at her stomach and breasts, running a hand over the stretch marks and cellulite on her thighs and her wibble wobble belly, as her siblings had called it as children. Back then it was cute, now the words mocked her cruelly, along with every other little quip and jab she'd heard in her life, all resurfacing out of nowhere to tear her confidence apart bit by bit.

Why did she even bother to keep a mirror in her room? The reflection never did anything to brighten her mood, and it wasn't like she was improving in looks at all. Not getting any prettier, or thinner, or anything really.

And just like that, she was crying again. Katya had assumed all her tears had dried up already, but no, the thought of the names other kids at her school had told her still rang in her ears after all this time. Exes who said she just wasn't as attractive to them as they'd thought. It usually involved her breasts not being as sexy outside of her blouses and bras, nipples too big, tits too saggy, she was starting to believe them now. Sex with all her previous partners had been humiliating in some way: if they didn't mind the hair she never bothered to shave, then they'd have a problem with the noises she made and her tendency to tear up. Little did they know the only emotions she felt during those times were regret and insecurity, never love.

And now it was to happen again.

She always told herself Eduard was different. He was sweet, kind, a proper gentleman, so awkward and emotionally repressed, a man who knew his way around a hard drive better than the human body. But he was also incredibly intelligent, delightfully so. He had a wit as sharp as his fringe, a wonderful way with words, and an ability to pick up languages at an alarming speed, which he demonstrated by serenading her in her mother tongue.

She thought he was absolutely perfect, and as such, didn't want to lose him.

And she would lose him if he saw her naked.

The subject of sleeping together had not been broached by her because of that, and he'd only recently brought it up, tentatively, rather embarrassed with a blush to his face. Eduard was incredibly awkward so.

She'd put it off, told him she wasn't ready, and he was patient. He understood. She wasn't sure to tell him, however, that she may never be ready. For him to leave her? No way.

Katya didn't want to believe Eduard would. She told herself he was his own person, different from the others, and that was why she loved him. But what if he wasn't? What if he no longer found her attractive afterwards? What if they grew apart and eventually broke up? What the hell was she supposed to do then, when her confidence was shattered forever?

She cried harder at the thought. She would lose him.

Katya curled into a ball, just to get that reflection of hers out of sight for two seconds. God, she was so ugly when she cried. And Eduard, as lovely as he was, would think the same, right? He'd not actually seen her cry yet, and they'd been together for six months now. That was something spectacular when it came to her. But why was she so pathetic in the first place?

"Kat?"

Katya shrieked, jumping up and turning around, wrapping her arms around her to cover herself. She glanced back to find Eduard awkwardly looking at the ground.

"What are you doing here?"

"You gave me a key," he mumbled; "I didn't mean to scare you."

"Could you pass me my dressing gown, please?" The sooner she was covered, the sooner she could get about discreetly wiping her eyes. Luckily Eduard wasn't rude enough to take a peek.

"Of course, dear," Eduard fumbled blindly at the back of the door until he'd grabbed her dressing gown, throwing it to her without looking. To her amazement, she caught it.

Once robed, Katya set to wiping her eyes, still refusing to turn around.

"What's wrong?" asked Eduard softly.

"Nothing."

"I'm not an idiot. Really, maybe I can help?" There was a pause. "Did someone hurt you? I'll… I'll kick his butt!"

Katya hated herself for laughing; it was cruel of her. Eduard smiled though.

"Glad that cheered you up, at least." He moved forward, sinking onto the bed and walking across on his knees, reaching out for her. "But seriously, what's wrong? You can tell me."

"It's stupid;" Katya moved away. "Don't worry about it."

"Hey, nothing is stupid where you're concerned," he almost buckled saying that, like he was scared of coming across as too cheesy. "Come on, it's good to share."

"You never share," Katya mumbled.

"I'm emotionally stunted that doesn't count."

Another laugh.

"Hey don't think you've gotten out of this just get," Eduard pulled himself up, making a tickling gesture, "come on, talk to me!"

"Ah get away!" Katya shrieked as she darted away, "don't tickle me!"

"Why not?" He grabbed her waist, smothering her cheeks in kisses. "Come on. I won't… judge."

The pair fell silent, Eduard gazing awkwardly into her eyes before planting another kiss on her jaw, slow and wet. He placed another on her neck and she burst into tears.

"Wait, what's wrong?" he sat her down on the edge of the bed, wiping her tears and brushing her fringe, "please, please tell me." He knelt before her, gazing up in concern, yearning to know what he could do to help.

"But it's so… so stupid," she wailed, "I was just looking in the mirror, and-"

"Say no more," Eduard muttered with a laugh.

"Excuse me?" Katya pulled away, glaring at him through blotchy eyes. So he really was no different then? Perfect, wasn't that just wonderful?

Eduard's eyes widened as his brain processed what had just happened. "Oh no, that's not what I meant. I meant I understand what it's like to look in the mirror and…" he pulled a face. "I wish I was stronger and better looking, but I can't understand why someone as beautiful as you would ever… you're perfect."

"You've never seen me naked," Katya muttered.

"Well you looked okay when I came in," he bashfully replied, "not that I was gawking or anything. And- and the parts of you I do… see are very beautiful."

"If you got a good look you would not be saying that," sobbed Katya.

Eduard decided not to mention a good look would make him very happy indeed.

"I bet you're wrong," he said instead.

"I am right."

"You're the most beautiful woman I know, Vynnychenko," he insisted, "trust me, I have seen five women naked. Not including on the internet. You are the most beautiful, and you have such a wonderful personality too."

"You think I'm more beautiful… than the women in pornography?" Katya raised an eyebrow.

"That's a high compliment; they're stunning!"

"Eduard."

"But seriously," he was bright red now, "Katya, you're beautiful, and I don't know who told you otherwise, but they're an idiot."

"It was many people. In bed."

"They're idiots."

"I'm an idiot. And that is why I can't sleep with you." She groaned. "You will hate me too."

"That's a low opinion to have of someone," Eduard sighed, "I would never. I don't care what you look like, you're perfect to me."

"Oh yes?" Katya shot up, lip wobbling, "so you're telling me that, if I dropped this robe, you would not think I'm ugly?"

"You have my word, as… as a man of science."

"We shall see."

So she stood up and let the dressing gown fall to the floor, feeling more exposed than she had in her entire life. No one else that had come before mattered now, just what Eduard would make of her.

Eduard's mouth dropped open, and he didn't bother to close it as he stared, rather intently too. Somehow, he'd managed to turn a shade of maroon as his glasses steamed up.

"Wow," he wheezed.

"You hate it?" Katya's lip wobbled.

"No, not at all," he stood up, placing his hands on her arms, "like I said, you're beautiful, and anyone who told you otherwise was an idiot. In fact, tell me who they are and I'll fight them."

He pouted slightly at Katya's laugh. "Well, I'm glad I'm cheering you up, honey, but I was being serious."

"Sorry," she couldn't stop smiling though.

"Look, I'll show you how much I love you, and how much you deserve to be loved." And then he kissed her. He kissed her with more passion than anything he'd done in his life: every movement, every touch dedicated to showing Katya the love she deserved. He held her close, tender and careful, like she was the fine gold wiring in a laptop, the most precious being he knew.

"Here, relax," he led her to the bed and pushed her on her back, gentle as he crawled next to her and kissed her shoulder. And her neck. Eduard moved to her breasts to smother them in kisses, and Katya smiled at the touch. It felt lovely, if oh so odd. She wasn't used to someone being so tender with her, and all the attention.

"I feel rather exposed," she admitted.

"Would you rather I join you?" offered Eduard.

"Yes please, I mean, I would like to see… you. All of you."

"That's a first," Eduard muttered, removing his shirt. Katya reached out a hand to brush his stomach, sitting up to kiss his chest.

"Looking good so far," she muttered.

"Maybe I should keep the boxers on," he squeaked as he removed his trousers. "I'm… fairly average but I don't know what you're used to- I mean, compared with the rest of Eastern Euro-"

"Ed," Katya chided, "I don't care. You're the only one I want."

He gave a toothy grin, still hesitating before the underwear was off too and thrown on the floor. He tried to reposition his legs to cover himself, but Katya stopped him.

"You look fine," she assured him, pulling him close to her; "now where were we?"

"Having the night of your life," Eduard pushed her back, refusing to even let her lift a finger or worry as he kissed her all over, whispering why each part of her was beautiful. He caressed her thighs. He trailed kisses up and down her belly. He stroked her hair as he gazed into her eyes, letting his heart out for once as he told her everything he'd been too scared to say before, understanding now that she needed to hear them as much as he needed to say them. His lips were rough, and tickled her in places, but that just added to the fun of it. Nowhere was safe from his kisses.

By the time the night was over and things had become more than a little sensual, she was crying once more, this time out of pure joy and bliss and love. Everything was going to be just fine.


End file.
